A Purposful Life

History, the study and drama of it, has always been my love. American history is my passion. I always picture my heroes standing on a cliff hearing from on high what they would do with their lives. I can see the Father of our Country hearing, "George Washington, your purpose in life is to be a living example for a country yet to be born." The Great Emancipator" would hear, "Abraham Lincoln, your purpose in life is to set free those held by tyranny and bondage." I have always wanted my life to be great - not important or famous, but purposeful. I am still waiting for that voice of destiny to say, "Noreen Birney, your purpose in live is..."

There always seemed to be so much time to do something heroic, but time slips by now in decades, not years. I am not looking for a reason to live. Heck, just getting up in the morning works well as reason enough, but I have always felt a destiny or purpose inside me waiting to happen. Does that destiny go away after menopause? Is it killing time until I hit 70 or 80? Is it staring me in the face, and I am too myopic to see it? I don't know, but here I am, on call like I am for my bosses - 24/7.

I love being a wife, a mother, grandmother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a friend, and I know the value of these positions - wouldn't trade them for anything. But don't all of us want to be more than the sum of who we are related to? Perhaps just living through the everyday trip from home, to work, to church, to home again is heroic enough. It's certainly not an easy tour of duty, but I feel like a combat pilot confined to desk duty in Nebraska, when I want to be in the air. Give me my "wings" Lord, give me my "wings." In the meantime, I will make a chocolate butter cream cake.

Chocolate Cake
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups good cocoa powder
2 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
3 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
3 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups buttermilk, at room temperature
3/4 cup sour cream, at room temperature
3 tablespoons brewed coffee
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter and flour a 12 by 18 by 1 1/2-inch sheet pan.

In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugars on high speed until light, approximately 5 minutes. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well. Combine the buttermilk, sour cream, and coffee. On low speed, add the flour mixture and the buttermilk mixture alternately in thirds, beginning with the buttermilk mixture and ending with the flour mixture. Mix the batter only until blended.

Pour the batter into the prepared sheet pan, smooth the top with a spatula, and bake in the center of the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool to room temperature before frosting.

Butter Cream Frosting
Ingredients:
2 cups sugar
2/3 cup water
6 extra-large egg whites, at room temperature
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1 1/4 pounds (5 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Combine the sugar with 2/3 cup water in a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan and, without stirring, bring to a boil. Cover the saucepan and allow the mixture to boil until the sugar dissolves. Uncover and continue boiling until the mixture reaches 240 degrees F on a candy thermometer. Pour the syrup into a heat-proof measuring cup.

Place the egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment and beat on high speed until the eggs form stiff peaks. With the mixer on high speed, slowly pour the syrup into the egg whites. Continue beating on high speed until the mixture is absolutely at room temperature, about 10 to 15 minutes.

With the mixer on medium speed, add the butter, 1 tablespoon at a time, and then add the vanilla and liqueur. (If the mixture becomes runny, the meringue was too warm and the butter melted. Chill slightly and beat again.) Add the food coloring and combine.

Thought
Private Birney, reporting for duty. Sir