The Ex

Memory:

I have learned two things about my failed first marriage. The first is that, once I love someone, it is forever. It doesn't matter how many hurts or disappointments happen, I can't turn off love. The second is that I know it takes two to make a marriage work and it takes two to wreck it. Saying all that, it just makes sense to me that, since we had this remarkable, intelligent, gorgeous daughter together, why should we give up our mutual history and family simply because of a failure on our parts? So my ex-husband, John, is still very much a part of my real husband's and my life.

I have seen so many bitter ends to marriages and I want no part of it. Fortunately, I have a husband who isn't intimidated by anyone or anything, and jealousy isn't a part of his make up (even when it would be nice to see a little of it once in a while). So once a year when John comes in from New Haven, Connecticut to North Carolina to see his daughter and grandchildren, he stays with us for the week. The three of us go out together and talk about old times and friends. He and Michael talk about sports and politics. This Thanksgiving John will come to our house and share the holiday with us and the family. Cozy, huh?

Oh, I don't mean to imply that none of this is uncomfortable. There were reasons for our break up, but none of those are more important than what we still share, and I believe with all my heart that forgiveness is not only necessary for my faith but sometimes even more so for my sanity. I become a nasty, crazed little person when I can't let something go.

It's difficult also to equate a recipe with my ex. Like our Shannan, food doesn't really mean that much to him, but he does love a good story to tell. So my recipe for Scottish Eggs is my Ex, John.

Shannan was about 3 years old and the three of us were living in a tiny third floor apartment on Orange Street in New Haven. I was particularly in love with my Gourmet Cookbook, Volume 1 and was trying to wow my husband with my skills. He always likes the unusual and out of the ordinary about everything so I tried the most unusual recipe in my book that I could afford. I followed the directions to the tee, but the eggs came out terrible. I'm sure it was my fault because I tend to take every direction way too seriously and literally, but one way or the other, the Scottish Eggs were horrible. The egg story has become a part of our living legend and every time I am hit with it, it grows more spectacular and legendary. I have since rewritten the recipe in my own words so that if the opportunity ever comes up again to wow my ex with eggs, I'll be ready.

Recipe:
6 hard boiled eggs chilled
1 lb of sausage meat
2 tbs fresh minced parsley
1/2 tsp ground sage
1/4 tsp pepper
2 eggs beaten
1/2 to 3/4 cups breadcrumbs
oil for frying

• Peel hard boiled eggs. Make sure the eggs are well-chilled so that the sausage meat will cling to them more easily.

• Combine sausage, parsley, sage, and pepper in large bowl; mix well.

• Press meat mixture evenly around eggs, keeping the oval shape.

• Sprinkle eggs with flour, coating lightly all over. Dust off the excess

• Dip into beaten egg; then roll in bread crumbs to coat

• Pour oil into deep-fryer, or large heavy saucepan, to fill 1/2 full. Here's the tricky part. the oil has to be hot, but if it's too hot the sausage will crack and you have greasy, gritty, fatty egg balls. Yum!
  

• Cook 1 egg at a time, for about 4-5 minutes until meat is well-browned.

• Drain on paper towels; cool

Thought:
I heard a great conductor being interviewed on NPR just a few months before he died of pancreatic cancer. The reporter asked him what he wished to be remembered for. He said he wanted to be remembered as a musical entertainer like Bach, Ira Gershwin or Beethoven. I thought about what I would like to be remembered for when I am history. It would be that I lived and loved every minute of my existence. Life is too short for anything less.